my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
where does the pee come out of this thing
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize