Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
