So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
