Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
