Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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