Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize