I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Randomize
