We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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