People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
where are you?
Hypothermia
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
