smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Help me help you realize you are a moron
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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