i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
