I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
that may or may not have been my penis.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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