The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
