Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
