"it" just moved
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
