why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
