my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
