happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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