Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize