I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
