based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
