Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
