Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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