I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
