Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
