I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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