So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
where does the pee come out of this thing
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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