The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
