Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
