allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
