In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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