is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
