me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
He did a backflip because drugs
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
