didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
