I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
