i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
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