Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Randomize