He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I look excited, but its just a facade.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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