worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize