i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
