You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
