Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Randomize
