So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
