So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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