Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
