the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize