Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
