well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
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