i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize