If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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