why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
