Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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