Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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