On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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