she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
