I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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