I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
