i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
