I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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