I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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