he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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