Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
