Well douche your snatch and let's go!
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
