the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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