I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
