If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize