1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
