also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
We smell like vodka and hangover
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
