i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
