Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
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